Ahhh… that’s it my friends, the million dollar question that I’ve been asked (and ask myself!) hundreds of times.
A few minutes ago I was in the middle of a conversation with a family member. She is in a weird place, in limbo, unhappy with her current situation and wanting desperately to find some kind of relief. She feels paralyzed in the reality of “what is” right now. For her, this is a hard place to be, and it’s a place she’s been before. We all know what that feels like. For me, I feel immense compassion for her and for where she is… the difference is that I see her how she wants to be. I see her with incredible potential and possibility.
All Life Coaches have their own way of working with their clients, and all clients come from different places. That’s what makes us all uniquely talented!
Honestly, I love meeting people in situations like I described above. I don’t mean it in a way that sounds masochistic or like I enjoy seeing people in confusion. What I love seeing is people who are open to any possibility and who are finally at a place of surrender and are willing to dive in head first and change things up a bit.
A lot of people come to me feeling “stuck”. They are in a bad relationship, or an unfulfilling job, or wanting to just move on from the monotony and they don’t know how.
Step 1 is to look at how we’re thinking about the current situation. Most people who get stuck (which is pretty much everyone at one point or another) are dealing with a bad case of ‘what-is-itis’ – or inflammation of what is currently going on. And if you don’t like your current situation and you keep harping on how much you are uncomfortable, you’re just making it bigger and uglier and more of a problem.
My favorite quote, well, ONE of my favorite quotes in the book Illusions, by Richard Bach says: “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands; you seek problems because you need their gifts.”
Step 1 is all about blessing whatever mess you find yourself in the middle of. The sooner you can see that there’s a big ‘ol gift inside of this “problem”, the better you’ll feel and the faster you’ll start to find some peace.
Step 2 is to get pretty specific about what it is that you want. Let me say that again, what it is that you WANT. Not what you don’t want. So many of us are running around telling stories about what misery we don’t want, but how many of us are telling awesome stories about the situations, the people and the experiences we DO WANT to have…? Write it out, just a few sentences, what is important to you.
Step 3 is why. Why do you want what you want? What would a better job feel like? Why do you want a more fulfilling career? Why do you want a lover? Why do you want better friends? Why do you want a better house? The reason all of us want those things is because they will make us feel better. Plain and simple. And you know what, the point of life is to feel better, to feel good, to feel joy and to feel bliss.
As a Life Coach, I help you work on a few of the steps above and many more.
I’d say a pretty good chunk of humanity is running around confused. I’m in the mix too sometimes, don’t get me wrong. I spent most of last weekend in meditation and got pretty clear about what my job is on this planet and I feel a good amount of clarity after that. But most of us are just plain overwhelmed. We can’t figure out what’s important anymore and what’s not. We can’t put our damn phone down and stop caring about the things that are coming at us a million miles an hour and we are just beat down and exhausted.
My job is to help you calm down, to reconnect with yourself, to switch up some of those nasty thought patterns that tell you stupid things like “you’re not worth it” or “good things like that don’t happen to people like you”.
None of that is true.
I repeat, NONE of that is true.
We are all here with a mission and a purpose, and we are all here to experience amazing amounts of joy. I don’t care who you are or what your past has in it, we’re all worthy.
Plain and simple, as a Life Coach, I see you in your potential, I see you in your amazing life and it’s bright and full of opportunities. I see you there and I hold you in that place, knowing that you should NEVER EVER have to settle for less than that. You will learn to believe in yourself and get you to that place so you can manifest it in your reality. You ARE worthy and the powers that be have amazing gifts for you in the middle of all these problems.
And … if it weren’t for the problems, we wouldn’t be searching so hard for solutions.
Now bless them and let’s move on!