Experiences, Thought

Let Go

I have a handful of pretty awesome stories that show me how the Universe is always working with us. One of my favorite stories, and one that is incredibly signifcant to my work took place over 3 years ago  when I was let go from my stable corporate job.

I began working for a major bank in January of 2007. At the time, this was such a huge blessing. I had been seeking better employment than the unsteady and exhausting retail position I had been in. My new job was perfect, turned to full time within a matter of days, working evenings and into 2nd shift (which matched my boyfriend’s schedule) and was spent working with some pretty awesome women. Within months I was feeling very satisfied. I was picking up my pace, learning quickly, and settling in nicely to my cozy little cubicle. Yup. I was proud of my cubicle! I had it decorated with all of my photos, and even a photo of a puppy I was hoping to adopt within the year.

I spent several years in that department and was well respected by my managers and peers. I was promoted, I trained co-workers and newbies. I was happy. I had insurance, and a 401k! But like anything, I wanted to continue growing. I moved into another department after some time, switching to a day shift and working in the field of fraud detection which felt very purposeful to me.

After another year I was given a promotion and moved into a job working for my original department, this time taking on the role of a check quality analyst. I was the only one in the bank performing these tests and the clients I was working with really loved me and my diligence… and I loved them. I again, felt fulfilled. My pay was good, steady, my benefits were good, and I was even able to work from home on occasion.

Within a few years though, I began to feel restless. I made some good changes to my work, even streamlined things to be more efficient. Honestly though I wanted to keep moving up the ladder. I would apply for higher grade jobs, and nothing ever came to fruition. I was quickly becoming depressed with this.

In the winter of 2013-2014 I went from irritated with my current position to incredibly grateful. It was in the middle of some major emotional crises that I realized I did have a gift, that I had this great job with people I loved, helping others, making a difference and being compensated well. I had security and I switched my mindset over from irritation to gratitude. I would drive over an hour into work every day and began using that time to listen to different wellness podcasts, like thebewellbuzz and HayHouseRadio. These awesome radio shows were a huge factor to my awareness shifting. I would take walks at work, I would meditate in the conference rooms, I would buy lunch for my co-workers. I was almost always smiling. I would keep a running Microsoft Word Document while working… that I called “my love list” and I would write down things that made me happy, or neat stories and experiences I’d noticed over the course of the day. Things were getting better and it wasn’t because of a promotion, it was because I shifted my mindset.

In May of 2014 I was working from home and a little bothered by something that had happened with work. I started playing with the idea of resigning. I talked to my husband about it… and he said of course he would support me (he had just resigned from his job as a result of my encouragment and found a new job within a week!) but things would be tight. I realized the predicament I was in and just decided to stick it out. I had been spending a lot of my free time reading and educating myself on spirituality, on self help topics and the idea of a certification course as a Life Coach. This was what I wanted to do, but at the time, I wasn’t sure how.

Two weeks later, I was driving into work on a Friday. I was following a car unintentionally that really stuck out to me… on the bumper was a native American sticker with a big white feather on it. I stared at it for miles, wondering why it struck me. I thought maybe I’m being reminded to trust in something? Don’t white feathers mean Angels?
I got to work that morning and was called into a conference room.
My managers were waiting for me, with HR on the phone.
I was being let go.
I was given a severance package.
I was thrilled. Shocked. Elated.
I was on the verge of laughing because in my heart, I knew I had asked for this, The Universe delivered it to me, and pushed me comfortably in the direction of my dreams.
It was that summer that I created Natural Peace Life Coaching… and now here we are.

Several months ago, in late August, I got a phone call from a gentleman who was interested in hiring me part time to work as a barista. He was very kind, enthusiastic, and after interviewing me, hired me on the spot.
I was incredibly happy with my new position, working part time in a quaint little coffee shop just minutes from my new home in Norfolk VA. I learned a great deal about quality coffee, about customer service, something I’ve always been gifted in – about being a kind and authentic person, and barista!
Plus, I made an amazing cappuccino!

However, just like my time at the bank, after a few months something in me started to get restless. I would arrive to work and have knots in my stomach. I no longer felt the enthusiasm for my job and realized it was my job to find the good in this situation I was in.
So I got to it. I began emotionally acknowledging all of the benefits. The kind people I worked with, the kind people I waited on. The wonderful aroma of fresh espresso, the incredible tasty food, the love the owners had for the business.
The day before Thanksgiving, I was sitting with a good friend of mine talking about my work. We talked about my job as a Life Coach, my work writing…as a Tarot Advisor… doing reiki, all of my talents, my passions, my creativity and it hit me that THIS was what I really wanted to be doing. I kept trying to see my passion in my work as a barista, but it wasn’t my dream… it was my work for others as a means to an end. I confessed to my girlfriend that in my heart I felt like I had checked out of that job, that I was still trying, and would continue working as a meaningful employee… but that my heart wanted to do the work that I love.

That night I went in to work my shift and after about 5 hours, my boss turned to me and “put me out of my misery” if you will. He let me go. I was feeling the same emotions I had felt over 3 years ago when my managers at the bank did the same thing. I heard his words, but in my heart I saw the Universe backing me up again. I saw the door close on something that no longer felt right to me, and a huge door open up for my career with Natural Peace.

I know I’m not normal. I know that most people who are fired or laid off don’t see the situation the way I do. But maybe it’s worth contemplating.
If you ask me, anytime a situation that doesn’t feel right to us anymore keeps causing us discomfort, it’s time to ask what it is trying to teach us.

In both of my situations, I had changed. The employment was incredibly beneficial in both instances, but change is part of life and must be embraced. For me, it wasn’t practical to go in and give notice… that’s just not who I am. However, these situations were laid out for me and gracefully moved me on to the next phase of my life.

I don’t know what is coming next for Natural Peace. I don’t know what exactly will happen as a result of my being let go recently, but I do know that the Universe knows very specifically the work that I love and knows how to line me up with it.
For now, my job is to continue being open to those possibilities, to find the grace in not knowing, to bless my past, my experiences, my amazing employers who gave me the opportunity to be a part of their lives and businesses.

We will always take ourselves with us, so I chose to show up to the next opportunity in a state of grace and appreciation.
Being let go has been the greatest gift.
Both times.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s