Several years ago I was listening to a really inspirational documentary that was talking about law of attraction, positive thinking and how our thoughts dictate where our lives go. One of the women said something along the lines of “you can live the same year 90 times, or you can live 90 wonderful years”.
Happy New Year my friends. It is bitterly cold, life is full of transition and confusion but here we are on the first day of 2018.
So in the past 2 weeks, my life has changed drastically and I sit here really processing the 90 year quote, realizing that I’m starting to live more authentically from that place of a new and different year, every year.
About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I had a conversation about our lives in Virginia. We spoke about the experiences that we’d had in Norfolk, our lives, our struggles there, and our victories. My husband asked me, “are we done here Sarah?” and I knew the answer in my heart. We decided it was time to go back to New York, to the mountains and the woods, to our friends and our families. In a whirlwind decision, we changed course completely. We had Christmas, laced with packing, planning, and for me… a lot of praying about our uncertain future.
Last year at this time we were packing for our new lives in Virginia, also feeling the bittersweet pain of leaving our friends and family behind. This year, a similar feeling has come up as we packed our home in VA in 48 hours flat, with the help of my amazing in-laws and a big uhaul.
On Tuesday December 26th, I arrived back home in Virginia and immediately was brought to my knees with grief as I looked around at the home I’d been building through 2017. I started to pack, crying a bit as my mind contemplated the “loss”. Within a few hours though, as I put my precious memories into boxes to come out within a few short months, my thoughts started to shift to hope. I continued thinking that Gods will will be done, that I can’t make a mistake here, that this is the path that I’ve chosen and I will be fine.
I’ll be more than fine.
I will thrive.
Thursday, December 28th around 6pm, I stood in my empty home in Norfolk VA. I went from room to room with my sage smudge stick burning. I blessed the home, tears streaming down my face as I remembered all of our happy times in the house we promised to love. We kept our promise, we LOVED that house. I filled the air with the energy of love that my family created in the house, filled it with promise that it would be full of love again in a few short weeks by another family.
It’s now January 1st, and I’m sitting in my temporary room in the basement of my in-laws home, surrounded by transition, hopes, dreams, promise for new beginnings.
Uncertainty can be absolutely terrifying. I used the 40+ hours of driving in the past 2 weeks to really surrender to the Universe, knowing that there is a deep rooted path of love under all of this confusion. The things that are happening are inspired by love, by courage. It takes courage! It took courage a year ago to leave our home in Corinth, to move to Virginia with no family, to hope for success for my husband and his partner in their new business adventure. It took courage for him and I to walk away from that too.
Some people live the same year 90 times, some people live 90 wonderful years.
This year will be a new year, a new adventure. I am sitting here faced with wonderful opportunities, new chances to move forward in my life, knowing that as long as I stay true to myself, wherever I am, I will make the best of it. I loved my life in Virginia. I loved my life in the Adirondacks. I love my life right now, in the basement of a house full of love in Galway NY.
This year, don’t make promises to yourself that you can’t keep. Just open up to your divinity and realize that the plan is, there’s not really a plan. Sometimes we have to just fly by the seat of our pants. I have said that many times in the past few weeks. A good friend was talking to me on my way down to Virginia last week, as I prepared my heart and mind to pack up that life… she was so enthusiastic. She reminded me how exciting it is, this place I’m in, being free, with the world ahead of me, waiting for my family to do whatever we want. She was right I realized. Life is for living, and not just living to get by, to survive, but to have the experiences. I wouldn’t change a thing. I created a beautiful life with my family last year, my husband and I both learning life skills that were a creation from Norfolk.
And now we are faced with a brand new open path.
The girls and I were on the highway driving through Pennsylvania along I81, the fresh idea in my head that maybe it was time to go back to NY – when a sign appeared. Literally, a sign… a massive billboard along the highway. Rediscover Home a big billboard with a serene lake and mountains on it said. I stared at the billboard, thinking maybe it was trying to tell me something. 10 miles down the road, the same sign… Rediscover Home.
So we are. We are living a new year, a new adventure, and in no time at all will be rediscovering a new home.
Happy New Year to all of you.
I hope you find it in your heart to live, or continue living from a courageous place of uncertainty, that you live a different year each time we celebrate the ball dropping. Life is full of adventure if we are ready to step out and claim it.
Let’s raise a glass to that!