Last winter, my husband Jeramie and I became hooked on the show New Amsterdam. The lead character, Max – an overly ambitious and intense medical director used as his mantra “how can I help?” to every person that crossed his path. Max had a cancer diagnosis in himself that he was battling with, and still – his mantra remained, “how can I help“.
I want to embrace this mantra more in my own life. Right now my husband is waiting for a tow truck on the side of the road because his car broke down on the way to work this morning. He called me to let me know what was going on… and I didn’t know what to say. My response was “how can I help?”
“It’s okay” he said… “I called a tow truck, now it’s just a waiting game. I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”
For over 5 years I have been working and building my career as a life coach and there are still times when I need a few minutes to explain what it is that I actually do. It’s not counseling or therapy I tell new clients. It’s future focused. (But what does that actually mean?) There are so many fuzzy places, so many gray corners in my career that I get hung up on how I can help…
In 2014, I became certified as a coach, took the classes, passed the tests, did the training and had a certificate that said it was so.
I remember some of my colleagues in the building I worked in thought it was almost laughable that I was a coach. One woman was not impressed… “she’s too young!” she said to a mutual friend about me.
That later caused me to write a blog about age and life experience. Something that I’ve been realizing is so important the more I do this type of work.
How can I actually help?
What is it that I do?
I’ll give you some examples.
3 years ago I signed on a new client. She lived in Los Angeles, and I in upstate NY so our sessions were conducted via Skype. She paid me in advance for a coaching bundle package and we began meeting bi-weekly for regular hour long coaching sessions. During each session she would talk to me about her main concerns; where she was spinning her wheels, what she was feeling wasn’t working in her life, what WAS working in her life. Then we would pull cards (Tarot). I use Tarot as a medium to work with my clients because it is incredibly accurate. Tarot has a way of pulling information out of people, starting a conversation and getting really honest with yourself. If I begin to describe a card that has some tinges of difficulty to it, then my client will start to nod and realize that maybe we have some things to talk about. There are no “bad cards” – just information, and we use information in our lives to learn and find clarity. Ultimately, so we can move forward!
This client was working a job that she loved originally. She was making good money, doing what she had gone to school for. She was loved by many of her co-workers but had difficulty with some others. She was on the fence about what to do… continue this career or be done. She wanted something more but she wasn’t sure exactly what. She had begun to play around with meditation, wellness and wanted to become a yoga teacher. She was moving out of the logical world she was comfortable in and moving into a more spiritually based lifestyle. However, she didn’t feel right quitting her job. Then one day she had a major insight. She realized how hard she was trying to make things happen, and began to see what she had all around her. She realized she was transforming and that she had to be in a place of allowing the Universe to work with her. She was humble, grateful, appreciative of her life and she felt differently. This was her “aha” moment.
This is what we strive for in a coaching relationship. Not necessarily to make the things happen in our lives that we want to see… but to become peaceful and accepting of what is right now, to realize that you are where you’re supposed to be, that nothing has gone wrong, that you are standing on a platform and get to move forward into the unknown, utilizing your thoughts, feelings and intentions.
The more we accept where we are, and celebrate THAT, the more joy we attract into our lives.
I remember the day she called me. It was about 5 weeks after her “aha” moment. I was with my family in the middle of a Christmas Tree field. I told her I needed to call her right back because my service was spotty.
When I did, she was beaming through the phone. She announced that her managers had rearranged her department and that she had been laid off. She was given severance and they sent her on her way. She was elated. This experience, was the very same thing that had happen to me in 2014.
The Universe moved her in the right direction, into what she was creating. She went on to become a certified yoga instructor, and now her and her husband own a beautiful Inn located in the mountains of California. They are holding their first yoga event this fall.
A more recent client of mine hired me to do a 22 card Tarot reading for her and her husband back in June. I met with them each separately and after about 3 hours, I had painted a very clear picture through the cards with each of them. She decided to move forward with regular life coaching. She had a small list of things that were bothering her… issues in her marriage, arguments, worried about her sons independence and self image issues. I’ve been working with this woman for a solid 3 months, bi-weekly and her results have been stunning. Her husband loves that she has continued this work because of the results on their marriage. They no longer argue, there is intimacy and kindness and mutual understanding. She has lost weight and when she talks about herself, you can see her self love radiate out of her eyes. She is a beautiful woman and I get to see her every few days stepping more and more into herself. Her son just started kindergarten and after a few little bumps is thriving.
I hold space for my clients. I don’t see their grocery list of issues… I see their potential. I see her beauty. I see him trying to understand his partner. I see them wanting to live a more fulfilling, peaceful and optimistic life. I see their dream jobs, the places they want to go; the stability they are trying to feel and harness in their homes and beyond. I see their tears and pains and I know that they are just a call to move forward. I also see the thinking that stops them (and me) in our tracks.
It’s our thoughts.
It’s always our thoughts.
That is at the core of my coaching practice… to teach my clients how to think and feel. As you think, so shall you be. I’ve typed those words many times before.
So I ask again…
How can I help?
I can help you change your mind. I can help you see the life you want to live and begin living it. I can teach you ways to rewire your brain, to find peace in your thinking. I can help you dig up some of the old pain, gently and softly, and realize that it just needs to be released and will bring you towards great healing. I can help you live the life of your dreams. You are helping ME live the life of my dreams. THIS WORK is the life of my dreams, and without my clients, there is nothing.
We did not come to this planet to struggle and barely get by. At my core, I know that we are here to learn to live lovingly, happily, peacefully. I know that because when I feel those emotions in me, because I’ve thought them in my mind, my life feels 100% better. I can help you learn to work with your mind, to activate the emotions that will bring you an amazing life. We, as a society, tend to think so little of ourselves and our potential.
I am here to tell you, we’re meant for more than that.
We are all here to learn to create the life of our dreams.
Please let me help.
All my love,